Because Relationships Matter

More Religion or More Jesus

It's widely accepted that lack of self-worth or self-esteem, how we see ourselves, leads to many life mistakes. It is not widely accepted, but I believe it's true, that accepting how Jesus sees us improves our self-worth or self-esteem, which often leads us toward great life choices. 

"I want to be committed to God. I've tried so many times. What's wrong with me?"

A while back, Mark Beeson taught about a cycle that many of us go through. I call it the practice of More Religion. We feel guilty about our relationship with God, we try harder, fatigue happens, and we quit...and at some point, we again feel guilt and the cycle continues.

It happens again, and again, and again. People generally say things like, "Why can't I commit to God? Why can't I trust God? I need more faith. I need more trust." It's often accompanied with a comment, "I just don't undertand."

A lack of understanding is in fact the problem. People look for a relationship with God through the practice of More Religion. 

A relationship with God comes through the practice of More Jesus. We have a need, we seek Jesus, we find hope, and we follow. The result is changed lives.

Unfortunately, many people find hope, life gets better, so they stop following Jesus. They return to old patterns. It explains why people keep coming back. Here's how one person recently described it to me in an email.

"I will definitely start bringing God back into my life. I was so much happier and just better when I was going to GCC. Someone gave me a cd from 2007 of a service at GCC. I realized how much I miss Mark Beeson and everyone at GCC. I'm so excited to get myself back to church."

When people learn that church is helpful because it helps them find Jesus, we then hope they'll decide to follow. As people come to Turning Point on 2.22.10, we'll be pointing them to More Jesus patterns of living. 

Chosen

How we see ourselves, our identity, is directly related to our ability to accept God's love for us.

I'm flawed - I'm not good enough - I need to please others: these are all common beliefs. So what? Humans do have flaws; humans aren't good enough at something; and it's good to please at least someone. To have some negative beliefs about ourselves is what it means to be human. 

We can fight it or surrender and accept it. Accepting ourselves as humans allows us to soak up God's love for us. 

God wants to spend time with humans. He chose humans to be in relationship with. We are his plan to help other humans know they matter to God and are loved.

From Adam and Eve, through consistent steps from Abraham to Jesus, humans were chosen by God. With all our flaws, insufficiency, neediness for significance, we are inherently human and God is inherently divine.

In John 17, Jesus prayed to God for humans. In verses 6 & 9, he specifically says, "They were yours; and you gave them to me," and "I'm not praying for the world but for those you have given to me for they are yours." 

It's a question of identity. In being given to Jesus, our identity is no longer in the mirror. In 2 Corinthians, 5:17, Paul tells the people of Corinth, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new is come!"   

Jesus said, "You did not choose me, but I chose you". Chosen.

For those ready to live differently, Turning Point launches Monday, February 22.

Unrooting the Lies

At Turning Point this past week, we looked at the thoughts that take root inside of us as beliefs and drive our behavior. These are just a few: I'm different. I'm not good enough. I should have known better. I am powerless. I can't let it out. I am a failure.

However, the truth that God sees in us that correspond with these: I'm ok as I am. I am ok. I can learn. I have choices. I can choose to let it out. I can succeed. 

"I must be perfect" was a lie I believed. Love and affirmation came from personal accomplishments. As I excelled in life, it shifted to "I am perfect." I remember thinking, "I should pray. Perfect people are Christians, I'm a Christian, and Christians pray. I should pray."

I began praying in the only way I knew how, "God, forgive me for ______." I drew a blank. I couldn't think of anything that I had done wrong. I couldn't think of any mistakes I had made. It happened on several occasions. Sadly, I am serious; it was that bad.

Since I attended church faithfully (of course!), it got increasingly more confusing. I knew I wasn't God, but yet, I knew I was perfect, so...It's called a God-complex.  

The lies become rooted so even when you recognize them, you can't make them go away with willpower. It requires bringing God to the center of your life, and he provides the lift to unroot the  lies. The truth about who you are in Christ begins to be revealed. As we connect with God, with love, the truth begins to take root inside of us.

It could not be more clearly written in 1 John 3:18-22. My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him.

Turning Point - Loving Others

When Jesus was asked for help with priorities, he made it clear. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment." So, we're gonna help people do that through Turning Point - Loving God which you can read about in this post. 

Then Jesus said, "And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." So, we're gonna help people do that! 

Turning Point - Loving Others also launches on Monday, September 21, 6:30 - 8:00, for 10 weeks.

Here's a sampling of the first 3 weeks.

Week 1: You're not alone. Many of us believe that we're the only ones who feel the way we feel, and it keeps us isolated. When we come into relationship with others, we discover that God knows the way home, and he uses people to help us get there.  

Week 2: Our patterns of behavior create problems in our relationships. Our reactions to one another become so automatic that we have to stop, look at our behavior, and consider the patterns. Identify the triggers and identify our reactions so that we can recognize the patterns of the problem. 

Week 3: Problems we experience in our emotions (depression, addictions, ...), in how we function (disorganization, perfection, ...), or in our relationships (controlled, unloved, ...) are symptoms that a problem exists. When we treat the symptom as if it's the problem, we get stuck. Identifying the problem behind the symptoms moves us forward to find helpful solutions.   

We're creating a space where people can learn to love one another as God intended. It's gonna be great!  Register here and come!

Turning Point - Loving God

Over 1 week ago, 342 people made the commitment to live a life following Jesus. This past weekend, over 455 made an outward demonstration of their inward commitment and were baptized. What's next?

When Jesus was asked for help with priorities, he made it clear. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment." So, we're gonna help people do that!

Turning Point - Loving God launches on Monday, September 21, 6:30 - 8:00, for 10 weeks.

Here's a sampling of the first 3 weeks.

Week 1: God wants a relationship with you. Many of us consider a relationship with God as going to church, saying a prayer, listening to a Christian radio station every once in a while, etc. We may have to imagine what a relationship with God could look like in order to move toward it.

Week 2: You're more than the mistakes you've made or what you do for a living. You can only start from where you are. We'll consider the adjustments we'll need to make in order to allow a connection with God to begin. 

Week 3: Relationship with God is the key to how imperfect people become all God intended. Communication requires awareness and space. We'll have to be intentional to make it happen.  

We're creating a space where imperfect people can become all God intended. It's gonna be great! Register here & come!

Turning Point - Change!

Turning Point is our group environment for anyone ready for change in their life and their relationships. Pay attention - it's significant shift time!

There will be 2 flavors of Turning Point groups starting September 21, 2009. Since they echo the commandments Jesus gave us, no doubt about where we're going!

Loving God (Take your next step in your relationship with God. Content from Soul Revolution: How Imperfect People Become All God Intended.)
Loving Others (Identify not-so-helpful patterns and learn new communication skills for your important relationships. Content from Boundaries.)

For the content of Turning Point: Loving God, we're using material from John Burke; his first book, No Perfect People Allowed, is really the foundation for our culture of groups at GCC. I wrote this post last year regarding the content for what will now be Turning Point: Loving Others; it will remain the same and be covered in the 10 weeks that the groups meet. 

It's only right that as we shape the ministry, we keep ourselves open to change. We are, and we're changing things up! I'm excited to see what God will do through this!

Commitment

We spend a lot of time in churches trying to get people to live committed. Out of a commitment to God comes a commitment to spouse, children, finances, integrity, relationships, volunteering, study, prayer, and the list goes on. It all begins with a primary commitment to God. Without that priority, the rest is an uphill battle.

Try to move people toward anything, and they resist. Greater effort brings greater resistance. Adam & Even didn't commit to God through obedience, and it's not all that different today - appears to be the human condition - the reason we need a Savior.

I have been studying Soul Revolution, the content for our newest Turning Point group of the same name launching September 21, 2009. The focus is founded in the principles from Frank Laubach's, Practicing His Presence.

Rather than push people toward Jesus, we're gonna help them understand what it means to be in his presence. When Jesus is lifted up, they are drawn to Him. I'm excited to see how God works through our next step in GCC Groups.  

"God is always on the alert; constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him." 2 Chronicles 16:9

Just Like You

A volunteer ministry leaders wanted our guest at Turning Point to understand, "You're not alone."

The result: a 4 minute video that was completely volunteer driven. Inspired. Created. Written. Communicated. Produced. Delivered. It's incredible! I hope you'll watch it below! 

They didn't do it for the staff. They did it for the guests. Love one another. The church.

Everything happens for a reason; I know God has a purpose.

This saying has a few variations. Regardless of which one is used, it makes me cringe.

I know it can be true -- I know it can be helpful -- I know it can be comforting. I get that. The problem: it isn't always true, it isn't always helpful, and it isn't always comforting. It is too often a trite Christian saying, like many others.  

Many things happen because people make choices, both bad and good ones. Some of them honor God. Some don't. 

Terminal illness, tragic accidents, and natural disasters - they just happen. The reality is that we simply don't get to understand. No matter how much we want God's understanding or project our interpretations of God's purpose, we're limited by our human understanding.    

While I know that God can use anything for good, it's rarely helpful to hear at the moment of greatest despair. When Jesus told us to love one another, I think he meant for us to be present - to listen - to care. It's hard to do.

I'm really proud of our facilitator teams that create this atmosphere at each Turning Point group. Last Monday, 75 people came to take a step towards personal change over the next 10 weeks. We don't know where this journey will take them or how it will unfold. We provide a space for them to take a step toward Jesus, and we know it's the right direction! 

Ready for Change

Nagging wife. Distant husband. It is a sadly too common picture.

Wife: He doesn't want to spend time with me. He doesn't care about me. It hurts. I'm mad.

Husband: It doesn't hurt her. Nothing I do is ever good enough for her. I don't like conflict.

Does it hurt her? Does she ever cry? Does he think he's not good enough? Does he ever let her know?

Wife: He doesn't like it when I cry in front of him. It's not ok for me to cry. I move away.

Husband: I never said that. She moves away from me. I figure she doesn't want me to come near her when she crys, and I'm not gonna be able to do anything that's good enough anyway.

Our most significant relationships can certainly get confusing! How do we know where to start? It begins with our own behavior.  

It's just one reason that people might come to Turning Point. Many who attend are in great marriages. People come for a variety of reasons but having one thing in common. They desire personal change; they'll gain some insight into the thought processes that influence their behavior and meet some other people in the same life stage.

We had 7 tables of women and 3 tables of men at the Turning Point launch last Monday. The room was full with lots of energy! The final registration night for this session is Monday night. Hope to see you there!