Because Relationships Matter

Small Groups & Social Networking

When I first experienced Facebook, I chuckled at the expression, "You have a friend request."

By the act of clicking on "Confirm Friend", it was so easy! The magic was accomplished, and I received notification that "Kathy Guy and [Name] are now friends."

I thought it was so silly, but after a brief time of "Confirm Friend" actions, it was second nature. It's now in my vocabulary, "We're FB friends, so I'll message you." It's now normal.

Social networking has re-defined what it means to be friends, to have relationships, in our culture.

I met last week with some leaders from other church who organize their small groups. It heightened my awareness of these learnings.

• The desire people have to be connected to others in relationship has not changed. The methods they are willing to use to get into those relationships have changed  - drastically.
• Face-to-face connection is no longer the primary method people use to develop relationships.
• Social networking is now the primary method people use.
• Churches create physical spaces, small groups, as the primary method for developing relationships. 
• The willingness people have to enter a physical space for face-to-face interaction is now considerably lower.
• For specific purposes, people are still willing to use face-to-face interaction to fill their felt needs:
  • Single people who are motivated by the desire to find a partner. 
  • People looking for solutions to financial, marital, or parenting challenges.
  • Christians who are looking to grow spiritually.

Churches should continue to create physical spaces for groups. However, they should also create specific social networking space for relationships to develop. If people could connect first in a social network environment, it may increase their willingness to further develop that same relationship face-to-face.  

Working between our Connections and Communications teams, we're getting closer to the best platform to help our people. As we know more, you can be sure we'll let you know!

Summer Groups

Outdoor activity increases during the summer months in northern Indiana, which means that indoor activities tend to slow down. "Slow down" doesn't = STOP!

In light of both realities, we're offering Summer Groups on Wednesday in July. Here's what you can expect.

• 3 Weeks: last 3 Wednesdays in July (13th, 20th, and 27th)
• 1 Hour: 6:30 - 7:30 p.m.
• Content: 20 - 30 minute video teach (Mark Beeson, Bob Laurent, Rob Wegner); 30 minute table conversation to follow.

The unspoken concern: Will I be forced to sit somewhere I don't want with people I don't want to sit with?

We're gonna let people sit where they like, and let sorting happen naturally. In other words, we won't force you to sit with tables of all men, all women, all couples, all singles; I expect that all of those may exist, along with a variety of combinations.

We are responsible for creating the space where people can meet others. People are responsible for who they meet.

We hope we're creating a helpful environment to take that step!

Measuring Success

The main measurement we use for GCC groups is attendance reports. If people keep attending, it's good. If they don't, it's bad.

As we adjust our group environments, we track the attendance figures to see the impact of those changes. It's an inexact science, but we do the best we can to help people move closer to who God created them to be.

At Financial Peace University, 82% of the people were still attending at Week 13.

At Spritual Growth Groups, 68% of the people were still attending at Week 10.

Considering our society that demonstrates a lessened value on commitment, I'm thrilled!

This doesn't mean that 82% of the people are now practicing responsibility in their personal finances, or that 68% of  the people are now spiritually mature.

It means they took a step. They pursued information. They desire change. They seek a new way to live.

You can't live a new way until you get a vision of what it looks like to live a new way.

We have an amazing team of volunteer facilitators! In both group atmospheres, they communicate, "I don't have it all figured out, but I'm willing to come beside you as a lead learner." I'm so very grateful for the difference they make!  

Saying goodbye to a brand

When you hear Target or Starbucks, do you need an explanation? When we say, "Come to Turning Point," we have to explain what it is. When a brand works, it's great. When it doesn't, be willing to say farewell.

In 2006, I wrote this post about how helpful having a brand was in answering two questions for people: What is a small group and how do I get into one at GCC? (Since then, we shifted even further from using the term "small group" so lots has changed.)

The problem now is that most of our group environments contain the word "Point" which now has no point! While it's easy for me and a few leaders to keep it straight, we have to keep explaining the purpose of each group space. When people on your own staff aren't clear on your brands, it's a problem!

If you hear that we're offering a social group for singles or a Bible study group, you don't need further explanation. If I heard that we're offering a spiritual growth group, I think I would have more questions. I just don't know.

Turning Point groups are for those people who want to change how they're living. People often describe it as: I want to grow spiritually; I want to trust God with my life; I want to get my life on track; I want to know what God wants from me; I want to honor God with my life.

How would you succinctly describe a group for this that would require little or no further explanation? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

30% update

So I wrote here that our stats previously showed that 30% of the people who attended week 1 of Turning Point groups were not at week 3. When I reviewed the attendance figures more closely, I found some errors in the data. I'm sorry. The figures below are accurate.

Fall, 2009: Dropoff between week 1 & week 3 was 35%. Dropoff between week 1 & week 10 was 57%.

Spring, 2010: Dropoff between week 1 & week 3 was 29%. Droppoff between week 1 & week 10 was 40%.

What we adjusted this last session: we didn't promote new attendees to come for Week 2 providing more consistency in the groups; we adjusted the questions hoping to create a less vulnerable and safer experience; and we adjusted the content to provider greater focus on fewer principles to be communicated. 

There are some other changes that we're considering, and I'll look forward to talking about that soon! Happy Mother's Day!

Prophets of the Bible

Who influences your life? Who do you listen to for guidance? How did they get credibility with you?

During View Point Bible Study, we are talking about who the prophets were, how their words were to be used, and their role to speak for God.

What is your image of a prophet?

• I think of the tabloid covers that terrified me as a child about predictions of the end of the world.
• I remember the preachers on the Ball State Campus who screamed into a megaphone about the need to repent to be saved from damnation.
• I somehow associate it with tv images I have of Charles Manson - scary! 

Overall, those are not positive images! So, when I turn reluctantly (because I already have a preconceived notion that 'I'm not gonna understand this') to read Amos, I see a socially ill-equipped guy trying to get an audience with people who don't want to hear him. 

It is likely that I would have been someone who is described in the Bible as not being willing to listen. Ouch! Who is God speaking through today that I am not hearing? 

Since books of the prophets comprise 17 of 39 books of the Old Testament (44%), I drastically limit my ability to read the story or to see God in it! I think there are others like me, which is why I'm very excited for our people to experience the teaching and learning through group conversation during this session of View Point Bible Study that launches Monday, May 3. Register here!

 

Growing relational seedlings

Our goal is not to start new groups. Our goal is to help people create relationships that will lift them and encourage them toward becoming who God created them to be. 

At the same time, we sometimes get asked by those who are completing one of our GCC groups, "What's next? What happens from here?"

In the past, we tried launching groups from our group environments. It was often resisted and rarely successful. In an effort to stop trying to control what we couldn't (their lack of desire to be in a group), we focused on offering more opportunities for relationships at GCC.

What we may have slipped to, however, is not offering enough support to fertilize the relational seedlings that have starting growing inside our group environments. We're coaching our facilitators at each table to provide more ingrediants for growth.

• If there are solidly 4 people who are interested in attending the next GCC group that's offered,  we'll register them and have a table for them. The group won't have to add anyone new and struggle through the 'just getting to know each other' phase.
• If there are less than 4 that want to continue or if all of them would like to meet new people, we'll encourage them to go to the next GCC group.
• If our facilitator wants to participate in the next GCC group space with this group, great! At the same time, we don't want them to feel guilted into it; if they need a break, take it. The people are asking "What's next?" is evidence of the group environment the facilitator created. They've served well either way!  
• If they want to stay together but on their own, offer support and encouragement to answer their questions. "Where could we meet? Do we want to meet as often? Is there an end date to how long we'd meet? What would we talk about?"

It's not an exact science; we adjust often as needed. We're just trying to make a difference in people's lives, and help them take their next step toward Christ.

30%

At Turning Point, 30 % of the people who are at Week 1, are not at Week 3. They're gone. Hate that! They matter to us.

It used to be higher, and we've made intentional shifts that have improved the results. That's great!

Yes, we know that there are a bunch of things we can't control.

• Normal attrition stuff -- work schedule changes, babysitter problems, physical illness, etc.
• Not ready -- the person wants to live differently, but the changes bring fear or discomfort and they turn back or stay stuck.  
• Distorted thinking/complex emotions -- the person convinces themselves that this isn't going to help for a variety of reasons they rationalized. 

As a team, we know there are other things too that we can control!

"What else can we do?" is the question we took to our Turning Point facilitators last week to consider and brainstorm solutions. These volunteers come beside people to love them well. They're making a difference in the lives of our guests! Their passion to find a solution was noticable and is inspiring.

We found two key areas.

• We are going to be more intentional for people to get to know one another more easily; we're reducing the vulnerability of the questions. We've done this before, but we have to go further. In our desire for people to move forward, we have to be intensely focused on meeting them where they are at presently. We have to point to Jesus -- people run from being pushed or pulled!
• We are putting intentional focus to prepare our facilitators for the most common scenarios during the first critical weeks. Our team is strong; the role is difficult. Even if the facilitator doesn't have the perfect response, the group will notice if they have a leader.  People feel safer when they know a leader is present. 

Numbers matter because they represent people. Turning Point launches 2.22.10, so we're excited to help people know they matter.

Laughing at Starting Point

Relationships are the foundation for everything. People want to have fun. How can we help them have fun?

Kristen Baker, (GCC staff phenom!) has taken a group of artists to form an Improv Team. Last night was the 3rd week of six for this session of Starting Point. The Improv Team provided the backdrop for an evening of laughter!

In this picture, the volunteers (female in the shadows, and the brown shirt guy) had to physically 'move' the actors arms and bodies to go with the actors words of teaching one to swing a baseball bat to hit a pitch. Very funny to see! Sorry...should have had video for full effect, but I appreciate Mark Waltz photos!

This photo shows the Improv Team helping the guests 'warm up' a bit, laughing, all eyes forward so no one needs to feel stupid that others are watchng them.

As one of our values is to provide a safe experience, we counted on our guests to volunteer to participate rather than being chosen. They played along quite well! 

In our world of Facebook, Twitter, text, the quantity of social connections has increased drastically. Because we still have 24 hours a day to work, sleep, and find space for everything else, there is partial focus on more relationships with dedicated focus to fewer relationships.

It's changing how people relate to one another. It's changing the level at which we trust one another when we get face to face. It's changing our culture of relationships. We're doing our best to learn to change with it so we can stay tuned in to how people relate to one another. It's not easy, but most things worth it rarely are.

Relationships matter.

No Formula

Starting Point is our group environment for people looking to meet some other people at GCC, make some friends, etc. The focus is social. Yes, social stuff is holy stuff.

There are separate spaces based on marital status: single or married.

Whether your single or single again, we have Starting Point for Singles is the space; it's not a place to look for a date (although you may meet someone you can date after the 6 weeks, we're intentional about stating that openly) -- it's simply a place to meet some people in a similar life stage. 

Whether your a couple or a married individual, Starting Point for Married is the space; it's not a place for marriage enrichment (although meeting others may enrich your marriage) -- it's simply a place to meet some people in a similar life stage. 

That all being said, it is THE MOST challenging space to plan the content! Meeting people is uncomfortable. Laughter and fun help to make meeting people more comfortable. This is why it's so darn difficult!

• What's fun for one person may be miserable to another.
• What's fun for one person may make someone else too vulnerable.
• What's fun one time, and even fun when it's repeated for a second session, is no longer fun when it becomes stale and predictable.

Ok. I just had to whine a bit. I'm over it now. I just want people to have a great time so they can meet some people, make some friends, and love one another well! Register here and join the fun Monday, January 11, 6:30 p.m.