Because Relationships Matter

DWYSYWD

Do what you say you will do.

Before AT&T, it was SBC. Before SBC, it was Ameritech. Before Ameritech, it was Indiana Bell. Before Indiana Bell, it was...AT&T. After 24 years, I ended up leaving the same company that I joined after leaving college.

DWYSYWD seems easy enough, but it was the topic of a corporate campaign during the Ameritech years in the 80's. It was meant to help the employees capture the vision "To the public, you are the phone company". I connected with the acronym. DWYSYWD is seared at my core.

First time we visited GCC was January, 1999. It was the first message of the year, a tithing message. I had never heard anything like it; this pastor actually explained a tithe as 10% just like the Bible says to do. Doing what we're called to do was a connection with me. I trusted Mark Beeson.

DWYSYWD gives credibility to who you are and what you represent. I sometimes promise too much and make myself crazy trying to keep those commitments. I'm learning to not overcommit myself...as much!I'm not talking about crazy perfectionism. I'm talking about character and integrity. It matters.

Encouraging people!

I received this voice mail message from the facilitator of one of our Starting Point groups that we launched last week. For full effect, it was an excited tone of voice and spoken very quickly:

"Hey Kath - it's Heather. I just wanted to give you an update on how group went. I'm telling you, I have the best group ever! Everybody showed up. We had conversation like you wouldn't believe. It was just non-stop talk talk talk. It was awesome! I have the - aw - it was a great, great group! We're planning on meeting next week at Adams [a local high school]. We're gonna play some tennis, some bocci ball and some other things. It's just an awesome group! I'm so thankful that you let me - that you took a chance on me and let me lead. It's just fantastic. I love it! I'm so thankful that you gave me a shot. I'll see you around. I'll talk to you soon. See ya'. Bye."

It doesn't get much more fun than this!

The truth is - there was no risk involved in asking Heather to lead! She's warm, welcoming, has a smile that lights the room, loves Jesus, and is real about who she is and where she's been in life. She's a perfect leader - hesitant but willing, characteristics we look for in leaders. I love her!

 

Get a Grip...

In 3 hours, I'm thrilled to be leading Getting a Grip on Groups! There will be about 45 people attending from churches around the country to hear about the culture and strategies we use to help people enter into relationship with one another at GCC. There will be over 300 people in the building attending all the workshops - it's a great day!

The purpose is not to have people mimic what we do. It's fine if they want to, but it's not the purpose. The purpose is to help them understand who we are, what we do, and why we believe it's the right fit for us. By sharing the questions that we ask ourselves, we hope they'll ask questions that will help them discover what God wants them to do in their church, with their leaders, with their people.

Coming into this, I've had a week where I simply didn't feel very effective. I have met with people who are in a lot of pain. I keep asking God to show me what else I could say to help them "get it". Nothing. I know he loves them. Trust God.

There are times as a leader when we don't understand how something can work great one day, and the very next day, it's doesn't seem effective at all. Is it us? What should we change? Where? When? How?

Those are the times when I need to "Get a Grip." For me, that means "Let go." I need to remind myself that I'm human. It doesn't have to be perfect. God is God. I'm not. Relax. It's all a mystery. Bring the skills and talents he's given me to the table, and rest in the truth that God's got a grip on all of it.

Encouraging people!

Ever had times when people are just so darn encouraging, and they really have no clue? It's just who they are?

Had it happen three times this week! Two were via email and one was in person. All three contacts were about our Starting Point launch this Monday, April 9, and they are all facilitators!

Via email, "Do you need us to help on Monday night?" It might not sound like much, but it was huge to me! They are connected to their ministry. They know when the next launch is happening. How can they serve? (Yes, there is a need to have someone in relationship with the facilitators and contact them and keep them scheduled; it's a huge role with several challenges. I'm currently filling it, which is why it's not currently very efficient, but that's a different post!)

Via email from a first time facilitator with a heart to care for people, "Yes, I'll be there. I'm a little nervous..." I love that humility: hesitant but willing. Read what makes a great leader here or here.

On Thursday evening, "Did you get my note that we'll be there Monday? We just love it! We've met such great people from leading these groups. I keep thinking, 'I'm an old guy! I think it's so great that God can still use me, and that I have a purpose!'"

What is it like to have people serving on your teams that just really love it? They energize me! They feed me! They know they matter to God! "Encourage one another." I don't have the book:verse memorized - trust me, it's in the Bible!

God has created this incredible model, and it's truth. It keeps us all moving forward to honor and serve Jesus. Happy Easter!

Life-on-life Leading

Check out this post by our Executive Pastor, Tim Stevens.

Yes, they could have lead this group using a pre-packaged marriage enrichment curriculum, but they chose to use their own story. I love that!

I'm certain the group will see God's story woven through all the chapters of Faith and Tim's. Very cool!

No wonder the name of his site is Leading Smart! 

Accepting the "Red X"

Mark Waltz said in his post, "More on 'Find your Red X'", "Once you have a clear understanding of where you are, accept that reality."

Have you noticed that really great advice is hard to follow? I could have saved my small group members a lot of frustration if I had discovered it sooner!

Back in 2001, I became a small group leader. I was "pointed to" by our small group members to lead after spending 3 weeks together; I was daunted by the responsibility of leading at GCC.

At the time, I was a recovering control freak, meaning I had no doubt that I "could" lead. Having been a Christian since childhood, I was just then discovering what a "personal relationship" with Jesus looked like. Overwhelmed with gratitude for GCC and our leaders for giving me this knowledge, I was terrified of "how" I would lead. I don't like to disappoint people.

Solution: Identify someone successful in small group leadership at GCC and try to become them! At every opportunity, I listened, took exact notes of how he spoke ideas, and then I mimicked.

Result: I kept failing to be him and "slipped" into being me in group meetings. I cared about people, created atmospheres for laughter or sharing feelings, and people seemed to be enjoying it. However, my group experience wasn't like his group experience, so I kept trying harder to stop being me and trying to be him.

Success: I finally got tired of feeling like a failure and seeing puzzled looks on faces at my constant attempts to realign us a group. I remember the moment when I said to myself, "I'm not him. I'm me."

From that place of acceptance, I was freed to grow as a leader from the "Red X". I think it makes God smile when we discover how we are made and decide to embrace it!

Real Leading

In the opening message of our current weekend series, Dave, our senior pastor, Mark Beeson, talked about his propensity toward outbursts of anger. At our staff meeting yesterday, he humbly spoke of his own sin reminding us to be aware of how easily our greatest strength as leaders can become our greatest weakness. His leading impacts me deeply.

Why is it so effective when a leader speaks from their brokenness?

In Matthew 26:37-38, Jesus models this in Gethsemane, "Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he plunged into an agonizing sorrow. Then he said, 'This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me.'"

A few years ago while in a particular crisis with our family, I went to our small group, planning to lead as usual. As I shared what was happening in our lives, I began crying, then sobbing, then holding my face in my hands. I fell apart. I managed to say, "I'm sorry, but I can't lead tonight. I don't have it to give."

As they cared for my husband and me that evening, one of our friends, Anthony, reminded me that "sometimes it's good for us to care for our leader."

Being real about who we are and where we're at in life. Real leading.

Shall We Dance?

I met last night with our facilitators for Starting Point. It's just fun to serve with people who love people!

One of our more experienced leaders, John Pauley, was asked to share his thoughts about why his groups seem to always provide a good experience. He used a great metaphor explaining that we don't dance the same way with everyone we dance with, so we need to adjust our style of facilitating depending on the people in our group!

Have you ever been to a wedding reception where the guests line up and pay to dance with the bride? It is a crazy experience to watch as she gets on her tip toes for one, crouches awkwardly down to make conversation with the next, and then holds on for dear life as she is thrown around by the life-of-the-party guest!

Why does she do it? Ok, she wants the money! Besides that...she wants to make the guests feel comfortable. She's paying attention to who they are. She's letting them know they matter.

We do the same thing in our relationships when we pay attention. What are they saying? Where have they been? What brings them to this place? We let them know they matter.

I love to Dance!