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January 14, 2013

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Ann

Morning Kathy. It always catches me off guard when I stumble across the thing I most need to hear that day. This post, particularly the sentence "When the people you love are hurting themselves, it's tough to let them have their lives. (...)" had that effect for me today. Can this can apply to more than just people with addictions? I guess I'm thinking more of people who lean towards emotionally abusive behaviors.

Kathy

Thanks for letting me know the post was helpful to you.

I think it definitely can apply to emotionally abusive behaviors. It applies to co-dependent relationships, and those are commonly emotionally abusive.

If you want to communicate privately, you can email me at Kathy@KatherineGuy.com.

Ann

Hi Kathy, thanks for checking in. I'm actually in therapy now. Just had a tough weekend after talking with a family member who needs that kind of 'tough love'. You're right. It's very, very hard.

Every time I think I've learned how to 'let them have their lives', their problems... I run into another situation with them that I realize I haven't yet really done so. And the interaction sends me downhill again. It's such a long road. Does anyone ever really get to the end of it? And get to the end feeling truly whole and peaceful? Fully accepting of self and of whatever the relationship can and cannot be?

Kathy

Another perspective is to see this process as a continuing journey rather than a destination. It's absolutely possible to feel whole, peaceful and accepting. Although it feels as if there is no change, change is happening when the old behavior happens less frequently and each occasion doesn't last as long.

Be kind to yourself along the way.

Peace.

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  • My name is Kathy Guy. I have a successful Mediation & Counseling private practice. In the State of Indiana, I'm a Domestic Relations Mediator and a Licensed Counselor in both Mental Health and Addictions. Previously, I was on the staff at Granger Community Church over Care & Counseling from 2005 to 2012. Prior to that, I was a manager with AT&T for 24 years. That's my vocational life in a nutshell! I'm spending my days helping people know they matter. I hope my thoughts here are helpful to you.

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