Whether someone you love has an addiction, you're trying to raise a teen without going crazy, or you just have a bunch of people who take advantage of you, tough love is often misunderstood.
It isn't about holding them accountable, stating the obvious, or thinking it is mean to set boundaries. They know they're making mistakes, they know there are other options, and they know you love them.
It's often said in anger or tears, "They just don't care!" However, they likely do care -- they just care more about getting what they want rather than doing what you want.
When the people you love are hurting themselves, it's tough to let them have their lives. It's easier to be indifferent, personally wounded, or angry. It's harder to remember that their problem is their problem to solve; it's not about you, it's about them.
Tough love is hard.