We generally want others to make us feel good. It might be our romantic partner, our kid or parent, our friend, our pastor or our boss, or our politicians. We have expectations.
People are human. People fail. If they would just do what we need them to do, if they would just do the right thing, we'd feel better.
- It may be reasonable, but is it realistic?
- Based on who they are right now, and how they've acted in the past, is it realistic?
- Is it possible you have also failed to meet their expectations of you?
Expectations are often unmet. You don't have a monopoly on pain. We all experience it.
When we don't face reality, life becomes filled with villains who are out to get us, and superheroes who will rescue us. Whether it's a nightmare or a fairy tale, it's an illusion.
We get so lost in illusions of what we want to be true, we can't tell what is true. We get lost.
Confused or not, we still fight reality: What's wrong with me expecting this? So, I'm supposed to just give up? I have to just put up with this?
People are generally pissed at suggestions of reality. Regardless, here's what it means to face reality.
- Looking at reality does not mean giving up hope. It's where you find hope in what you can change...and not trying to change others.
- Looking at reality does not mean having no expectations. It's where you have realistic expectations...and accept others where they're at.
- Looking at reality does not mean being stuck as a doormat. It's when you decide to stop letting others wipe their feet on you...and stop blaming them for doing so.