Life has seasons: great, good, not so good, or really suck. Some seasons of life are not easily defined.
Since going into private practice, it's a new season of life for both Jeff and me. It's different.
Different can be unsettling.
The practice is going tremendously well. My office location is working perfectly, and the appointment load has been full with referrals coming steadily from unexpected sources.
Sidenote: when someone comes to me saying that they were referred by you, it is confidential that I was contacted by them, so I can't directly call to thank you. Although I don't thank you specifically, I do appreciate your confidence.
There are some obvious changes to explain the feelings. I don't have to ask for time off or to leave early, but I've always been pretty autonomous on my schedule anyhow. I have plenty of relational time with others, so I'm not lonely.
The only thing I've identified is that I've always had someone who couldn't do their job until I did mine. That's no longer the case.
Maybe it's about feeling needed, but that doesn't explain it either. I know what I do is helpful to people and valued.
Maybe it's being a part of a team. Maybe it's what people in business for themselves experience. Maybe it's what people experience in retirement.
I don't know. I just know it's different. It's change. It's not familiar. It's new.
Good stuff often develops when we move out of what's familiar. Since it's not causing me any harm, I'm just gonna sit with feeling unsettled. I know it's all good.