Because Relationships Matter

SoBe

We have a GCC Women's Event next Friday, March 5. It's a large group event specifically designed to be helpful to women. Our current focus churchwide is on 2 Peter 1:2-12. Since it's all about adding to our faith, we looked at how to get women to the best place for that to happen. 

I've watched people try to add things to their life, and generally, it's not too effective until they allow themselves to first be where they are at. Some of us are moving so fast, we only look at what needs to be done. Some of us are so busy looking at the mess of our past, that we can't get a vision for what life could be.

We want to help women experience what it means to be present. So, we've planned a night of taking your fun with you!

A peak at what we'll do...

• Girls say the darndest things!
• Watching others have some fun can be very funny...
• Our Improv Team will join us for some of the evening!
• We'll flip over a well known Bible story to see that Jesus had something to tell women about this topic.
• Oh yeah....dinner!

It's $35, and reservations are going to be really helpful for the catering order. Grab a girlfriend, pay for your wife, or come by yourself (but you won't be alone), and register here!

More Religion or More Jesus

It's widely accepted that lack of self-worth or self-esteem, how we see ourselves, leads to many life mistakes. It is not widely accepted, but I believe it's true, that accepting how Jesus sees us improves our self-worth or self-esteem, which often leads us toward great life choices. 

"I want to be committed to God. I've tried so many times. What's wrong with me?"

A while back, Mark Beeson taught about a cycle that many of us go through. I call it the practice of More Religion. We feel guilty about our relationship with God, we try harder, fatigue happens, and we quit...and at some point, we again feel guilt and the cycle continues.

It happens again, and again, and again. People generally say things like, "Why can't I commit to God? Why can't I trust God? I need more faith. I need more trust." It's often accompanied with a comment, "I just don't undertand."

A lack of understanding is in fact the problem. People look for a relationship with God through the practice of More Religion. 

A relationship with God comes through the practice of More Jesus. We have a need, we seek Jesus, we find hope, and we follow. The result is changed lives.

Unfortunately, many people find hope, life gets better, so they stop following Jesus. They return to old patterns. It explains why people keep coming back. Here's how one person recently described it to me in an email.

"I will definitely start bringing God back into my life. I was so much happier and just better when I was going to GCC. Someone gave me a cd from 2007 of a service at GCC. I realized how much I miss Mark Beeson and everyone at GCC. I'm so excited to get myself back to church."

When people learn that church is helpful because it helps them find Jesus, we then hope they'll decide to follow. As people come to Turning Point on 2.22.10, we'll be pointing them to More Jesus patterns of living. 

30%

At Turning Point, 30 % of the people who are at Week 1, are not at Week 3. They're gone. Hate that! They matter to us.

It used to be higher, and we've made intentional shifts that have improved the results. That's great!

Yes, we know that there are a bunch of things we can't control.

• Normal attrition stuff -- work schedule changes, babysitter problems, physical illness, etc.
• Not ready -- the person wants to live differently, but the changes bring fear or discomfort and they turn back or stay stuck.  
• Distorted thinking/complex emotions -- the person convinces themselves that this isn't going to help for a variety of reasons they rationalized. 

As a team, we know there are other things too that we can control!

"What else can we do?" is the question we took to our Turning Point facilitators last week to consider and brainstorm solutions. These volunteers come beside people to love them well. They're making a difference in the lives of our guests! Their passion to find a solution was noticable and is inspiring.

We found two key areas.

• We are going to be more intentional for people to get to know one another more easily; we're reducing the vulnerability of the questions. We've done this before, but we have to go further. In our desire for people to move forward, we have to be intensely focused on meeting them where they are at presently. We have to point to Jesus -- people run from being pushed or pulled!
• We are putting intentional focus to prepare our facilitators for the most common scenarios during the first critical weeks. Our team is strong; the role is difficult. Even if the facilitator doesn't have the perfect response, the group will notice if they have a leader.  People feel safer when they know a leader is present. 

Numbers matter because they represent people. Turning Point launches 2.22.10, so we're excited to help people know they matter.

Chosen

How we see ourselves, our identity, is directly related to our ability to accept God's love for us.

I'm flawed - I'm not good enough - I need to please others: these are all common beliefs. So what? Humans do have flaws; humans aren't good enough at something; and it's good to please at least someone. To have some negative beliefs about ourselves is what it means to be human. 

We can fight it or surrender and accept it. Accepting ourselves as humans allows us to soak up God's love for us. 

God wants to spend time with humans. He chose humans to be in relationship with. We are his plan to help other humans know they matter to God and are loved.

From Adam and Eve, through consistent steps from Abraham to Jesus, humans were chosen by God. With all our flaws, insufficiency, neediness for significance, we are inherently human and God is inherently divine.

In John 17, Jesus prayed to God for humans. In verses 6 & 9, he specifically says, "They were yours; and you gave them to me," and "I'm not praying for the world but for those you have given to me for they are yours." 

It's a question of identity. In being given to Jesus, our identity is no longer in the mirror. In 2 Corinthians, 5:17, Paul tells the people of Corinth, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new is come!"   

Jesus said, "You did not choose me, but I chose you". Chosen.

For those ready to live differently, Turning Point launches Monday, February 22.

The Love Dare

The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick is is what I'm reading.

  I have a great husband and marriage, and yes, I feel loved. (Seriously, if you lived with me, it's crazy how well Jeff loves me!)

So, why am I reading it? I want to love well. It's not more complicated than that. This might be the best Valentine's gift you could do for the person you love!

It's a book that is set up for 40 days of reading. Each day averages 2- 3 pages. While this book isn't about communication skills, personalities, and the typical "Make your marriage better" books, it's brilliant! It just gets to the heart of it all.

Because too many people will read it and respond, "I tried it. It didn't work. My spouse is still a jerk. My marriage is still bad," I tell them this.

It will be VERY IMPORTANT that you focus yourself every time you pick up the book.  

 “This is not a method so that I can feel loved. The Love Dare is about helping me love well. I want to be faithful to God to love my spouse well – regardless of what my spouse does. I am going to love well.

This does not mean that I have to set all my needs aside sacrificially, or that I have to be a door mat. From taking in how much I’m loved by God, I want to love well. Beginning with feeling God’s love for me, I will go from there to love my spouse well as I work through growing my own heart.” 

Do not measure the effectiveness by a change in your spouse. Measure the effectiveness by a change in how you respond to your spouse.

Just to be certain this is clear: DO NOT BUY IT AND GIVE IT TO THEM! Oh my --- it's for you to read!

It's been a top seller at the GCC Bookstore, so it's even 20% off!

Money & Emotions

It's very common for someone who struggles with anxiety or depression or love, to also struggle financially. Those with money problems, often have marriage or ... you get the picture.

Scenario #1: "It makes me physically ill when I have to pay bills. I have bad checks because I don't keep a register or track very well what's in my account. I don't keep track because it makes me physically ill to look at it."

What happens when they run out of money, have to go to court or pay fees for the bad checks? You guessed it, "It makes me physically ill."

Scenario #2: "I've had a lot of people help me over the years. They've helped me fix my car, given me a place to live. I really want to give back to others like all those people who have helped me. 

In response to how to change the pattern of their life, "I don't like money. Money isn't important to me. It's just not a priority."

How will they ever be in a financial position to care for themselves or to help others if handling money doesn't become a priority?

As Mark Beeson brilliantly taught, (it's the last video under 'teaching'), the condition of the heart indicates how we'll handle money. Money & emotions are inextricably linked. Positively or negatively, they feed one another. Our goal is to have them feed one another positively, but so sadly, many keep feeding them negatively. 

I am always challenged of whether they'll get more help from Turning Point or Financial Peace Univeristy. They both lauch on February 22. Where they should start isn't important as starting!

Money Story

This is a great story of life change -- small changes that can make a big difference!

Before Financial Peace, I was in charge of our finances, including all the stress.  My husband did not know where the money was going each month.  Now, we have sat down together and completed a budget.  It was very hard for me at first, because I didn't want him to actually "see" the amount of debt we had - maybe I was just scared he would point fingers at me, but that didn't happen.  We are both on the same page as to what debt we will pay off first, and we are both working toward the same goals now.

We used to eat out 3-4 times each week.  Our children were not used to sitting at home together around the dining room table.  Now, we try to only go out 1-2 times each week, usually once is after church, and each family member takes their turn at picking the restaurant.  Our boys love it!  There is no more fighting as to where we are going or who got to pick - they know that week whose turn it is!

Although all the debt is not gone, I feel as if we have a hold on it and are working to eliminate it!  Since taking the class, my husband got a different job (he was self-employed in construction), and I picked up two teaching jobs in the evening.  We have had to make sacrifices, but it is well worth it.  Our oldest son is even on the saving bandwagon - before he would spend any money he would get.  Now, he keeps a portion to spend, but places the majority in his savings account.

One of the biggest accomplishments I am most proud of is that we are finally tithing 10%, and it is coming directly off the top before any bills are paid for the week.  I truly believe that giving to God what is due to Him is the only way we will get out of debt, and we are finally headed down that path!

 

The teaching this weekend will use video teaching from Dave Ramsey. We launch Financial Peace University on February 22.