Leading thru Pain

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm in the best place to be leading right now." It's a message that I've heard too often. There's a pattern.

If leaders are having problems, and they aren't taking steps to hold onto Jesus for solutions, then yes, it may be good for them to step down. People watch how we live our lives. Leaders have influence. We need them to lead well. The definition of leading well through the challenges of life is the problem.

Leaders often step away, move away from leadership, move away from community when their own lives get messy. It's exactly the time they need to stay close, be transparent, and lead well from a position of humility.

When am I most effective? In my opinion, it's often when I'm broken. When I share a story of pain, people lean in. When I share my own struggle, people lean in. They don't want to hear about our success without hearing about the struggle. 

Leader's most effective times are not always when the pain is behind them either. People want to know their leaders are real. When we trust people, we are saying, "You matter. You matter so much that I'm willing to trust you enough to be transparent with you."

It communicates significance to others when we let them in. It happens in the context of appropriate sharing and relationship.

• A math professor who tells his adult students about his failing marriage: awkwardly inappropriate. 
• A waitress who tells their customer about her bad date last night: too much information.
• A pastor who tells his people about his own struggles with times of doubt: it helps people feel understood.
• A group leader who talks about their own challenges: it models transparently that they aren't alone. 

Comments

[Johnny Carr]

Thanks for sharing this Kathy

[Johnny Carr]

I have more thought on this. Jesus said "Seek the kingdom of God and let the dead bury themselves" Pretty much sums it up for me, that there is no excuse too big. Usally Someone dying is the biggest excuse we use to quit moving forward. Another eye opener for me for all my excuses. Thanks again.