Because Relationships Matter

Thanksgiving Weekend Thoughts

Some random thoughts from Thanksgiving Day and beyond...

• When the parents get used to living in the house without kids, the mess and noise are alarming when they return for short bursts of time.
• It's hard to tell if a turkey left in the refrigerator to thaw for 3 days is really thawed until you open it and find that gross stuff inside of it is still frozenly attached.   
• There should be an option to buy a turkey without the gross stuff inside of it.
• If you want to thaw a turkey in the microwave to get the gross stuff unfrozen, you should probably remove the metal things that tie the legs together.
• If you can't find the gross bag from the inside the turkey before cooking it (Oh...there's another end where it was hidden - tricky!), it doesn't seem to harm anything. 
• Jeff & I both referred to the turkey as "Tom" as in "Tom Turkey", but the younger adults in our home gave us bizarre looks.
• 17 pounds of turkey is way too much for 7 adults.
• Most any food is good if it has gravy over it.
• There is something in turkey that definitely induces sleep.
• It's fun to wake up randomly at 3 a.m. on Black Friday and realize that you don't have to go back to sleep - there's someplace to go!
• Other GCC friends were at Walmart at 4:30 a.m. and more were at Target at 6 a.m. - such a crazy & stupid fun morning - I love it!
• Christmas string lights that have loose bulbs and mystically don't work after they worked when you put them away last year are evil. 

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving weekend!

Starting Point - Hijacked!

In our orientation training for group facilitators, we talk about the power of the group. The leader shouldn't jump in to make all their decisions.

In our current Starting Point for singles, we have 4 groups. I had a great plan last week to show a short DVD to get meaningful conversation going around the teaching of the weekend. In the space of letting people chat for the first 10 minutes, the power of the group took over!

One group had brought a game they wanted to play, and some from another group had pulled their chairs over to hear more. The next thing I knew they had a pulled all four tables together to form one large group. They developed teams, and were figuring out how to make this work. They did!

Someone asked in the midst, "Did you have something you wanted us to do tonight?" "Nope. You guys have this handled. Have fun!"

Some might question if this time was spent together was meaningful. I'd have to take a deep breath to gather some patience, but then we'd talk.   

The Piece that Passes

When I was a little girl at the First Baptist Church in Batavia, IL, I heard about "the piece that passes understanding". I was a child just crazy obsessed with spelling, and I often spelled out things I heard inside my head. I knew that "piece" was a word that one had to be careful to spell correctly, so I locked in on that one when I heard it. Of course, I never had a clue what the phrase meant. 

I recently had the good fortune to call it up (the correct one this time) from my memory archives in the midst of a conversation.

A man told me, "I know I have to keep going and keep doing what I'm doing. I am changing. Before Jesus, I would have bad things happen, and I had no hope. There was one period a few years ago when I tried to commit suicide 5 times in a 2 week period. Now, I have bad days, but I know that it's not going to last. I know that things will get better. I don't know why I feel that way but it's good." 

"What you're describing is what the Bible talks about when it refers to the peace of God. It's the peace that goes beyond our understanding." 

Here's Philippians 4:7 from both the NIV and The Message: 

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. (MSG) 

  

Recognizing Transformation, Part 2

Stephanie Johnson has an incredible story. I had the privilege to meet her a few years ago and witness this season of transformation in her life. I'm so grateful!

She has a passion for scripture and insight that helps me. Here's a recent post she wrote that illustrates her wisdom ; she understands her own part in God's continuing transformation of her life. 

Temptation

I find myself tempted to think about "steps."
How did I get here from there?

There's always a temptation to hold onto the way, rather than to hold onto Jesus.

Israel was given a way. A way to return to trust and dependence on the One True God.
Isreal, like many religions, and like me, gave into the temptation to rely on themselves and their way. They lost sight of the God who created them. They lost sight of the God who created the way.

The truth is, everyone has a next step towards Christ.
Whatever that step may be, God is faithful.
YHWH meets us in Grand and Miraculous ways.
My desire is to abandon myself to the reality that:

ALL I can do is take one more step.

Recognizing Transformation, Part 1

"Wow...I've really changed over the last 2 years, haven't I?" Sometimes it hits us like that - when we recognize that our reactions to a situation are completely different than how we used to react. Following Jesus and putting yourself in his presence tends to do that. It's a privilege to share those moments with others when they honor the work of God in themselves.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. Why is this so hard? I don't know how to accept that I matter." For others, we need to press the pause button acknowledging how far they've come in the few months since they started holding onto Jesus tightly with each step they took. It's a privilege God gives us to let our words be encouraging and cheer them on!

"I've lived this way for so many years that I'm just used to it," said the woman who's husband has been unfaithful for 30+ years. While that may sound hopelessly passive, even this is a step toward change. For many years, she believed it was her fault, there was something wrong with her, etc. Now, she is discovering a little more each day that she matters enough to have a spouse who is faithful to only her. She is following Jesus closely and learning the truth of who she is in Christ. Change is about perspective. You can only start from where you're at.

We don't recognize the change in us unless we're intentional. Stop. Consider where we were. Notice where we are. Get a vision of who we will become. Give praise to God for the movement. Hold onto Jesus and keep going. 

Growing from the Edges

  Mark Beeson talked in our last SWAT (Staff Working as Team) meeting about how a tree grows from the outer edges, and how we grow as a church. Friends inviting friends. 

It's funny how God works in things. Shortly after that, I had an opportunity to talk with a woman, and I asked how she started attending GCC.  

"I work with patients, and so I see a lot of people each day. It was so weird how it happened. I knew I needed to get back to church. I'd meet people and think, 'This person seems like they have a heart for God.' So, I'd ask them if they went to church and where they went. Everybody I asked said, 'I go to Granger Community Church.' Really! It was like 7 or 8 people! I figured that God really wanted to get me here so I came. I love it!"

Our relationships matter. All of them. People are watching how followers of Jesus live. I want to live well.  

Hope and Fear

Our presidential election has left me thinking a lot about hope and fear - what people look for in those times - how the church responds. 

People flocked to the church after 9/11/01 in fear. GCC responded in a emphatic way to say, "We hear you!" We interrupted our regular weekend series and shifted drastically to a relevant message saying, "We hear you. We get it. We know your pain. We know hope. Jesus is his name."

Many churches didn't hear the people. They were stuck in doing things how they'd always done them. People came, looked, and walked away disgusted that the church doesn't get it. There's nothing for me here. They didn't even acknowledge my fear. If they did, they just gave me a bunch of the same old church answers in a language I don't even understand." 

Regardless of political views, most can agree that Obama has cast vision for a compelling message of hope. As an African American with an atypical name, his success is evidence to the power of his message. In voting, people are seeking to see more of this place he is calling us to follow him. 

Doesn't that describe exactly what the church wants to achieve? Follow us to hope. We'll point you to Jesus.

If we still receive parables, I wonder if it would sound like this... There were 2 candidates. One man said, "We have no problems. The economy is as strong as it's ever been." Realizing the error he said, "I know your pain. Follow me." The man was rich so many didn't believe him. The man continued to try to reach them through their fear, but because they did not trust that he understood their pain, many didn't follow  him. The other candidate said from the beginning, "I know your pain. I come from where you live. I understand." Realizing that many people were following him strongly, he stayed consistent to his method of meeting them where they were at. The man said, "I know the way to hope. I care for you, I am beside you, and I will lead strong." Many people followed him.

I'm just wondering what we can learn from all this...thousands flocked to Grant Park to listen in stunned silence to every syllable. What if thousands flocked to churches this weekend to see if we get it - if we understand their pain? 

Tough Love

In the context of relationships, this may be the most misunderstood and misused expressions. As this photo pokes fun, most understand tough love as being tough on people for the sake of accountability because we love them. 

Tough love is NOT: "they got what was coming to them," "they made their bed so now they have to lie in it," or "that's the consequence for what they've done." The statements are usually made in anger, disappointment or frustration. 

Understandable. We love the people who are making poor choices. We want to help them. We try everything. Most of us move to tolerating the ones we love. I wrote this post if you want to read more about acceptance vs tolerance.

I made this suggestion recently to someone considering an intervention with a relative. It's counterintuitive. Rather than a change in their behavior, focus on a change in my own. "I've been judging you for many years. I'm sorry. I've assessed how you should run your life. I'm so sorry. That must have been difficult for you in the midst of what you've faced. I am certain I won't do it perfectly, but the desire of my heart is to offer you acceptance from this point. I hope you'll be patient with me as I work toward being the person God wants me to be."

Tough love = it's tough to love people who are making poor choices - it is what Jesus offers us and calls us to offer one another.

Calling out the Best

Colossians 4:6: Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.

In Journey this week, Jason Millertaught on Colossians. He highlighted Paul's words about husbands and wives, children and parents, and those inside and outside of the church. In all of our relationships, it's about calling out the best. 

It was really helpful to me. Sometimes my eyes get opened to something and then I start recognizing it all around me. It's weird how that happens to us, isn't it? 

A volunteer ministry leader needs to step away for a while. But they don't just leave; they look to the team they've helped create and raise someone else up to follow them in leadership. They call out the best in them.

Group strategy in the church can get very complex. It doesn't need to be. Our spouse, our kids, our friends - one another - calling out the best in them.