Group Reality, Part 1

Small groups and support groups in the church are commonly assigned to two different staff members and different departments.  At the last offering of Getting a Grip on Groups, those attending the workshop reported that small groups most often fall to the area of Discipleship while support groups are under Pastoral Care. We used to be organized this way too.

The groups are commonly described like this:

• Small group = the best place for sustained life change to occur, where you can learn about God, and you can discuss the issues and challenges of life.
• Support group = a place for the hurting, the hopeless, the discouraged, the depressed, the frustrated and confused to find love, acceptance, guidance and encouragement.

It communicates that small groups are for normal people and support groups are for screwed up people. The stigma this creates about support groups is not helpful, but there's another odd dynamic that gets created about small groups.

We categorize small groups as the setting for normal people with normal problems, and yet every small group conference includes an inspirational story about someone who felt safe enough to "take their mask off" and admit they have a deep problem. Let me get this straight...we point the people who openly acknowledge problems to support groups; we point the people who don't acknowledge problems to small groups, and then try to make the small group setting safe enough for them to share their problems. Huh????

Basically, we all have problems and need other people to discover how much we matter to God! Read here and here to understand more about my concern for how we label group spaces.

I'm determined to create culture that reduces the stigma and pretense in both group environments. I want to remove the barriers and celebrate all the purposes for community.

Next post: What we're learning through a holistic approach to groups.

Comments

[Rick]

I like this train of thought. My beef with small groups is what I see as the over-reliance we have on this model as the only thing for growth, thereby taking all of the other spaces and communities out of our planned growth cycle. Is that compatible with what you've got here? Following your metaphor, once the screwed up folks are fixed, they can join in on a small group and finally grow for real, right?

[Kathy Guy]

Rick,

Thanks for your comment. Read the post from 10.13.07, "With or Of", for more info, but we believe relationships are key to growth. Groups are one path to relationships but not the only way.

I understand the perception you hear of "finally grow for real", but that's not my focus. I hear the Church acknowledging the growth that can come from support group environments, but I'm concerned about the separateness.

I don't get why more churches don't have their group staff person over both small groups and support groups. I don't think it sends a helpful message for either community segment.

[Frank Chiapperino]

I feel like I fall into the Both/And camp. I think we should always encourage people to be a part of the small group community in the church. However many small group leaders and participants just aren’t equipped with the knowledge needed to help guide someone through the necessary steps to deal with dependency or co-dependency. Does that mean I don’t want them to participate in the best community and friendship building experience in our church? NO WAY! I WANT THEM THERE for sure! However, I also want that small group leader to encourage these people in their groups to seek out restoration. That means finding support and guidance from others who have (with God’s help) overcome their addictions and challenges in a healthy way. The other plus of having these people stick with both is that they get to bring the experience and knowledge they gain from a focused support group environment back into the traditional small group with them. It is wonderful to see God prepare people for future ministry this way.