The way we talk about our self to our self is important. It guides how we think, feel, and treat our self and others.
A self-loathing script is filled with words of criticism, judgment, and shame: "I can't believe I screwed that up! A normal person would know how to do this and know what to say. I'm worthless. What's wrong with me?"
A self-love script is filled with words of kindness, acceptance, and empowerment: "Crap! That sucked. Oh well, it's hard for a lot of people. I'm OK. I can learn from it."
It's not about deluding ourselves. It's about living in the reality of being human.
Be nice to you.